Getting Ready For St Paddy's Day...

Boneing Up On Irish Jokes:

Two rather snooty English businessmen in London - were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, and only a few shelves had been set up.

One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some stupid Irishman is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we're selling.'

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Irishman walked to the window, had a peek, and in an Irish brogue accent asked "What are you selling' here"

One of the men replied sarcastically, 'We're selling arse-holes.'

Without skipping a beat, the Irishman said, 'Ya are doin' well ... Only two left!'

1908 VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

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2008 VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Com e winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome". Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2008.

Sugar Boy's . . . Motors

Happy 79th Floyd, where ever you are

Floyd Dixon was born Jay Riggins Jr. in Marshall, Texas on this day in 1929. He was influenced by blues, gospel, jazz and country music growing up. His family moved to Los Angeles, California in 1942 and Dixon met Charles Brown.

Self-dubbed "Mr. Magnificent," Dixon signed a recording contract with Modern Records in 1949, specializing in jump blues and sexualized songs like "Red Cherries", "Wine Wine Wine", "Too Much Jelly Roll" and "Baby Let's Go Down to The Woods".

Dixon switched to the Specialty Records label in 1952, and the Atlantic Records subsidiary Cat Records in 1954. "Hey Bartender" (later covered by The Blues Brothers) and "Hole In The Wall" were hits during this time.

In the 1970s Dixon left the music industry for a quieter life in Texas, though he did occasional tours in the 1970s and 1980s. In 1984 he was commissioned to write "Olympic Blues" for the 1984 Summer Olympics.

In 1993, Dixon received a Pioneer Award from the Rhythm and Blues Foundation. In the mid 1990s, he secured a contract with Alligator Records, releasing the critically-acclaimed album, Wake Up And Live.

Dixon died in Los Angeles in July 2006, at the age of 77, from kidney failure.

Roll 'em Floyd.

A tip o' the hat to Dr. Lucky who presented me with a 2008 blues calendar (which is mounted at "eye level" in my water closet) and the niffy resource books on these Blues.

This IS Important - So Vote NOW!

You can vote on the new Texas license plate from February 4 – 11. There are 5 styles to choose from at:

Vote for something new for TDC inmates to do right here!

Potential First Tuesday Member

Sound Investment Strategy 101

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would
now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have
$49.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, Drank
all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND,
you would have had $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink
heavily and recycle.

It's called the 401-Keg Plan.

Extra:

That's why they're so wacky!

VIDEO BACK 2 BACK

Get Ready to Bend Some Fenders

with the Fender bending Crazy Rockers from 1963.

I'm A "Love Machine"

Ah, February...the month made for lovers.
At Trick's Synthetic Podcast, we're not ones to miss a cheap tie in. So
while you try to decide which of the pictures below is the REAL "love machine" take a listen to the February Edition of this special lovers only (and a few dead presidents) issue: